somebody snuck up and got me drunk
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
