she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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