I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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