How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
