Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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