I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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