are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
