he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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