Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
