i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
