I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
