Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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