Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You ruined the universe
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
