i barfeds in our rink
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
