i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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