Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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