I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
