U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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