Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
