You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
