I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
