i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no you cant smoke seaweed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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