i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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