I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
