No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
