Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He felt like a one man threesome
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize