used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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