i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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