Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Houston, we have a blender
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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