his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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