Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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