I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
