Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Someone signed my nipple.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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