So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
