It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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