I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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