I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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