the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
