the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
