If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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