Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
