so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
