Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
