On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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