We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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