This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
