So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
