So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Randomize
