another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
