did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
