you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
