Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
