Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
