i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
