How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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