It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize