Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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