I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
