ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
