addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
