i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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