Pants 0. Shit 1.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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