May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
