if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
