No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
