ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
